Conversations with myself - Part 2

Character

Means many things to different people, I take its meaning to be based around the willingness to accept responsibility for my own life; I have come to the view it is the source of our self respect, thoughts and the way we act.

Perfection of character according to Marcus Aurelius is this; “to live each day as if were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretence.”

Character in my view is comprised of the following traits;

Will

This forms the foundation of our character and is primarily developed as life unfolds. Will is cultivated through the choices we make, how we respond to the events we experience and ultimately is displayed in the ways we act.

How we choose to respond defines how we see and are seen by the world. We can either take personal responsibility for our own life and ourself; or we can choose a victim mentality as a result of the circumstances that confront us.

In the words of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus “When something happens, the only thing in your power is our attitude towards it. It is not the thing that disturbs us, but our interpretation of its significance. Things and people are not what we wish them to be nor are they what they seem to be. They are what they are.” 

A victim typically leaves things to circumstance and chooses not to take personal responsibility for their life. It’s an easier choice in many ways as we are allowing others to make decisions for us, which means there is then an opportunity to blame should the outcome not be as was hoped for or expected.

I’d summarise ‘will’ with the well known phrase;- “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. It’s an opportunity for personal growth if we can find the courage to take responsibility and act.

Integrity

Is the way we choose to be in respect of how closely our actions match the words we use in any/all circumstances. Those who have integrity practice what they preach consistently; simply put they are who and what they are, no more, no less. 

Integrity is closely linked with virtues of truthfulness and honesty, which are discussed below, both are consistently practiced in people who have integrity. 

Integrity stands in opposition to hypocrisy.

Truthfulness

Is acting in accordance with facts and the reality that is life. Like integrity, truthfulness stands in opposition to what are termed falsehoods.

My personal view is that a relationship with anyone who is not truthful is very difficult to sustain, certainly in the longer term. How can you know who someone really is, or what they stand for, if there is no trust. Can a genuine bond ever be formed? 

Having said this; the ‘rules’ of truth are incredibly difficult to define and generally will vary from person to person.

Is truth absolute or is it relative to an individuals own perspective however?

Loyalty

Is essentially faithfulness interwoven with the already discussed qualities of Will, Integrity and Truthfulness.

In general terms loyalty can be described as being ‘devoted’ to a cause, country, group, or person. Someone who is regarded as ‘loyal’ can be relied upon. 

There does however remain the possibility that a person who is ‘loyal’ can be loyal to a group, cause, person, etc who is considered to be morally at odds with what is accepted by another person, culture or country etc.  

Frederick Neitzsche asked “Do we have the courage to cast off our role of the non-playable character, and become the hero of our life’s play?”.