Choosing Your Suffering
I recently watched a YouTube video that talked about this concept. This blog is my personal take on the subject, a view I have long held and experienced both aspects of. In health, fitness & life generally there are two ways to suffer, at some point we will all suffer. The crucial realisation is that we have a choice how this happens and therefore it can be something we have some influence over. The first way we can suffer is wilfully; with wilful suffering there is a choice. It is by no means an easy choice, however it is one we inevitably have to make, or we will have to suffer un-wilfully.
Wilful suffering
This can consist of many things, essentially the freedom is ours to choose how, why & what action we take. An obvious reason is health, for example unhealthy lifestyles are widely talked about and reported on. We are informed about the risks and consequences of deciding to live this way. The impacts on health, the ability to do everyday tasks and the ability to partake in some activities are now well known. Over the last 8 years my personal views on this have hardened for various reasons one of which was experiencing a life threatening and subsequent life changing illness. So many people live unhealthy lifestyles, move less and consume more. On top of this either refuse to acknowledge it, choose to ignore it and/or, do not/will not, take personal responsibility for themselves.
Far too many have learned, or choose, to pass the blame, or responsibility, on to others. The ‘others’ are typically, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, employers, authorities, medical staff (Doctors, nurses, therapists) etc. it has become commonplace to dump problems on to these people expecting help or to fix these problems, when people will not do it for themselves. Expecting anyone to do anything for us because we say they should is naive and lazy. Why should anyone help us any more than we are willing to help ourselves? Sure many will argue its the job of these people to do it, how much more satisfaction would you get from helping yourself even a little bit if you choose to though and why should we expect them to do more than the minimum they have to?
In my experience I’ve always been helped far more when I’ve shown that I'm willing to do my bit to help myself. As a minimum you’ll feel you have some control/responsibility for the situation that is affecting you. People seek help at the first opportunity, choosing the easy option. Doing this however, is a short term gain until the next time, as we deny ourselves the chance to find out what we are capable of. Taking responsibility cultivates our resilience, inner strength and even lifts how we feel about ourselves.
In amongst all of this is the opportunity to decide how we can help ourselves. Examples that come to mind are, changing diet, making healthier food choices, eating less, doing more (exercising, generally moving more, joining classes either in person or online, taking up activities etc). Ultimately everyone has the opportunity to choose how they go about this and when. Sooner rather than later is best. The alternative is having to experience the inevitability of un-wilful suffering.
Un-wilful suffering
This comes as a result of not choosing to wilfully suffer. It is the consequence of doing nothing to help ourselves in many situations. Essentially giving up and allowing fate to decide entirely what happens to us. No one can or will escape this happening, as we all age, and will ultimately face whatever this brings.
Age is something to be grateful for isn’t it? There are a great many who never have or never will reach an old age. Each of us has a degree of control over the old age we hope we will reach. The longer we live the greater the opportunity un-wilful suffering will happen whether we want it to, or not. Everyone ages. There is no escaping this fact. In choosing to live as healthy and active a lifestyle as we are able we are making an effort to hold on to our health, independence and quality of life. We are playing an active part in slowing down our own ageing whilst others continue to un-wilfully suffer the ageing process and let what happens to them, happen. What benefit is there in living a long life if we are unable to live independently and not maintain our health for as long as we are able?
When I was seriously ill, I complained a lot at first. I was stuck feeling sorry for myself and the things I had lost. I literally said repeatedly that “I’d looked after myself, ate well and kept fit, so what was the point?” A nurse checking on me, simply said to me, “have you ever thought where you might be if you hadn’t?” Until then I’d never even considered that! That simple question completely changed my perspective and allowed me to focus on what I could do and to think about what I wanted to be able to do. I have been grateful for the situation I am in ever since.
